Identity
You is smart. You is kind. You is important. When we want someone to change their behavior, our default is to say, "You're doing this wrong. Do this instead." In The Help, a maid wants to help a little girl whose mother isn't very affectionate. Over and over she repeats to her, "You is smart. You is kind. You is important." She isn't telling the little girl to DO something different. She's helping her BE something different. She knows that if the little girl sees herself as smart, kind, and important, she will act smart, kind, and important. One of the greatest gifts we can give each other is to show what makes us uniquely great. Who has made a great impact on you? Take some time to tell them how great they are.